Blog Four.

i like to drive through the crummy old neighborhood where i used to live, listening to the allnite jazzstation with my seatbelt off and the windows down so i can feel the crispness of the autumn sky pushing in, partly to rinse the interior of my car of the reek of beer vomit, and partially to pretend i feel some intimate connection with these brokendown warehouses and bustedup churches and sad decayed homes, speeding down the backstreets and hitting every red in town and not caring for once, because tonight, except for the corner of elizabeth and duke, where the copcar/s sleeping, tonight it/s all mine.

Blog Three.

i danced with an elephant last night. a couple nights before that, i made peace with my dead grandmother in my dreams. i kissed her on the cheek and i told her i loved her, and meant it for once. but about the elephant. i was drunk, and sweating: winter jackets, flannel shirts and toques don't make for good barroom apparel on hot fall nights and it was so dark i couldn't see, so i just closed my eyes and grinned and danced. bumping into people and animals and amorphorous shapes, secretly pretending it was the beer and the beer alone causing me to crash into everyone that i could. but about the elephant: her trunk kept hitting me in the face, so i kept my eyes closed and grinned more. alex and mark tell me she was cute, which makes me regret doing nothing, but it was too dark for my eyes, which were mostly closed anyways. and when i placed my hand on her hip, she didn't notice through the thick fur of her costume but my hand still stayed there like it mattered. the band took a break, and i pushed my way out to the balcony and stripped off the jacket and flannel: let the coolness of the descending night absorb my sweat. one of us left after that.